A Satirical Technological Marvel
QUEEN CITY — IBM recently unveiled the world’s largest quantum processor. The Eagle boasts 127 qubits on a chip roughly 1 inch in diameter. Not to be outdone, researchers from Opon University have announced a plan to fabricate a processor with only two qubits, but on a chip the size of a large pizza.
“When we heard that IBM’s Eagle chip is only the size of a coin,” said engineer Donald Ferdinand, “we all looked at each other and asked how we’re supposed to get excited about something so small. Is that really the best Big Blue can do?”
“‘Go big or go home’ is our motto,” added Dr. Cynthia Aldridge, Team Lead, “plus, who doesn’t love pizza?”
“Get your measurements in 30 minutes or less, guaranteed,” shouted someone on the other end of the laboratory.
The total size of Opon University’s quantum computer is expected to be slightly larger than that of ENIAC, an early classical computer. The cost of cooling a space of that size to near Absolute Zero is projected to limit usage to several hours per year.
